BDSM: Here’s What You Need To Know

In this article we deepen the theme of bondage and all the practices related to it and which are based on the sharing of fantasies based on pain and submission. BDSM stands for:

  • Bondage and Discipline : slavery and discipline;
  • Dominance and Submission : dominance and submission;
  • Sadism and Masochism : sadism and masochism.

This acronym is popular in the United States where it spread around the Eighties and associates, in a single dimension, different inclinations and sexual games, however, united by a dynamic of domination and submission, even if they differ a lot on real practices. There is in fact a fundamental difference between BD and SM: in the sadomasochistic dimension the domination of the individual is expressed through the control of the partner’s pain, in the Bondage-Discipline dimension , domination is based on the control of the partner’s pleasure .

BDSM: what is it all about?

BDSM is an increasingly popular game among couples’ sexual fantasies ; with the intention of rekindling a dormant passion, it is possible that many will approach somewhat less conventional practices. On the other hand , limiting sexuality to nominative behavioral patterns would be reductive . Erotic and sexual pleasure is a completely individual sensation that the mind uses to live the egoistic experience typical of orgasm. Bondage , that is the art of binding, consists in immobilizing the partner and is one of the most widespread practices . According to the latest estimates in industrialized countries, diffusion is distributed as follows:

  • desired by 1 in 6 people;
  • practiced by 1 in 10 people.

BDSM is not a matter for everyone

By its nature, BDSM is not bread for everyone, this is because it requires a good knowledge of playing techniques , of oneself, of the partner, as well as an awareness of the desires and limits of both and of the game environments and good control. – and above all self-control. It is also fundamental to know a basic physiology so as to be able to approach in a responsible and mature way. At the base of the game there must be rules that allow you to practice BDSM in a healthy, safe and consensual way, so as to be able to face any emergencies. All this makes it clear how much BDSM isis a study of how body, mind and soul work, because when you know what to avoid, everything else becomes an excellent opportunity for pleasure.

Behind BDSM there is the awareness of knowing how to get involved in one’s imagination, from the discovery of something that resonates and being pushed towards the knowledge and implementation of certain themes and experience. Then there is the will to bring out one’s own desires, listen to those of the partner and also be able, even if it is not easy, to set limits within which to move. Those who use this practice perceive binding as a means of communication useful for fully experiencing the emotion of the relationship. For example, playing with your partner, even using only a silk scarf to wrap your wrists, can give you extremely pleasant sensations and open new ways of relating. In fact, it is no mystery that most of the problems that couples have to face derive from poor communication , especially on issues related to the sexual sphere.

Even today, however, it happens that the practice of BDSM often has to clash with the idea that it is a deviant behavior, and it happens again, even among professionals, such as psychotherapists, who lose in this way the opportunity to learn and understand the orientation, an activity, an intimate lifestyle that the patient may have decided to introduce into their sex life.

BDSM or paraphilia?

Sexual play must be distinguished from paraphilia and other sexual disorders. We speak of paraphilia if the sexual behavior in question is experienced as the only and indispensable way to experience pleasure. For the layman, paraphilia (from the Greek para παρά = “near”, “beside”, “beyond” and filia φιλία = “love”, “affinity”), in the psychiatric, psychological and sexological fields, indicates erotic drives characterized by intense and recurring fantasies or impulses, which involve specific activities or situations concerning objects or animals, which involve suffering and / or humiliation, or which are directed towards impubescent subjects and / or non-consenting people.

The 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, edited by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) in 2013 introduced an important novelty. Paraphilias are all those atypical sexual behaviors for which the subject feels insistent and strong erotic-sexual arousal. This erotic condition becomes a form of addiction and the subject accuses a certain interpersonal discomfort (egodistonia) and, at this point, it is useful to introduce the concept of paraphilic disorder. To summarize, therefore, the paraphilic disorder is a paraphilia, but the subject lives the experience and the paraphilic experiences with discomfort, to the point of causing damage to himself and / or others.

spot_img