Not long ago, during a lunch, one of the diners had the wisdom to make her own a recurring joke in recent years: “I am not late. What happens is that I am an optimist . I go out at the right time because I trust that the bus arrives exactly at the same moment to arrive at the time that I have agreed”. The rest of the table considered the joke valid , but the truth is that how long you have to wait is not funny at all. It feels, rather, like a lack of respect. He who waits, if it happens to him once, does not count. But when the anecdote becomes a reiteration and habitual resource, he sees the other’s inconsideration with very bad eyes. Isn’t everyone’s time equally valuable?
Some time ago, science patted the latecomers on the sword . Overnight, those who are always late became optimistic people through the intervention of several studies . Among the conclusions of these scientific analyses, this aspect of personal character was agreed upon as a common element among people who arrived late, et voil , everyone fooling around and using optimism as an excuse for every appointment they postponed your whim. It’s alright, isn’t it?
Why you should never be late?
Beyond the obvious lack of respect for the time of others, which is just as important as our own, we should take much more seriously the fact of showing up on time for an appointment, be it of whatever kind. At work, most have assumed it as a responsibility inherent to the position. It is one more requirement of the position and, even so, there are those who find it difficult to respect the norm. In social relationships, on the other hand, the credibility of the norm is lessened, because yes, it also has that normative character among friends and family, no matter how much trust there is between those people.
“Living in society requires a series of commitments on the part of all citizens, and one of those commitments that makes our day-to-day much easier is punctuality, that ability to attend an appointment or complete a task at a previously agreed time. agreed,” says psychologist Alberto Soler. “Punctuality is one of those social norms that it is okay to comply with and respect for various reasons; one reason would be that it is a sign of respect for others. By being punctual we convey that we care about and respect the person or the meeting that we are going to attend”, continues the expert.
However, it is not the only reason why we should care about showing up at the agreed time. If respect for others does not manage to convince us, what we promulgate towards ourselves should do so, making others have a low concept of our way of being. “Another reason beyond respect for others is that a sustained lack of punctuality transmits a negative message about ourselves to others: it says that we are not people to trust, that we fail in our commitments”, explains Alberto Soler.
You always notify your friend, the one who is always late, an hour before, knowing that she will be late, hoping that she will show up at the agreed time. You don’t get it despite the fact that she begins to show signs that these types of messages of distrust bother her . But he still doesn’t win your favor because you threw in the towel a long time ago and you don’t expect him to change his attitude and, one day (for a change) show up on time. The relationship has become flawed and, although it may seem that it is something unimportant, if the issue remains immovable, it may end up taking its toll. How to regain confidence? Can a late person be converted to punctuality?
How to avoid tardiness?
When there is a group meeting in which several people are involved, the lateness may go more unnoticed in the event that it is one person. But it ends up being annoying , even for the latecomer, who is always forced to find the thread of the conversation and a waste of extra time apologizing for being late. “Many people find it very difficult to be punctual despite the fact that punctuality is not a virtue within the reach of a few; anyone can develop the necessary skills to be so,” explains Alberto Soler.
To avoid generating this distrust, it is best to take refuge in a good previous planning , something that does not have to be limited to the minutes or hours prior to the meeting, appointment or meeting that you have in mind. In the words of the psychologist, it is a transversal issue, an identity that you have to transfer to all areas of your life, so that the organization prevails over the chaos that tends to lead towards the path of lateness. The overload, in many cases, is the lack of real organization in our lives. Trying to do more is not a planning solution, because covering more than we can lead us to failure in many cases and, therefore, to frustration and loss of time , understanding this as the misuse of our availability.
Having established basic routines and schedules helps you to better measure your time, a starting point that serves as the basis for that vital organization that Alberto Soler refers to as a starting point towards punctuality. It would be the first of the 10 keys with which to address the matter to change the message of distrust that you generate every time you arrive late.