10 things you wish you had known before having children

After having lived the experience of becoming parents, there are many mothers who admit that they have felt the lack of some tips to better face the path and not make small-big mistakes, which are perfectly normal, but just as avoidable. Let’s learn about some of these unspoken truths.

Often presented as a splendid adventure studded with difficulties more or less amplified by the emphasis of the stories of acquaintances, the choice of having children and the path to get there take on a completely different perspective if you know some aspects that, however, few have the courage to admit .

Let’s take Maya’s veil off together on 10 things we wish we had known before having children, but first check out this video on what not to do while pregnant:

Awareness

Today, women demand honesty and no more idyll from the narrative of motherhood. Unfortunately, this desire often remains unsatisfied and, thus, one ends up becoming parents by regularly committing some mistakes that could have been avoided simply by an honest and transparent exchange with those who have already been there .

In fact, many tips for pregnant women or those who have already given birth end up turning out to be mere certificates of magnificence , often with accusing tones and dispensed with a certain arrogance even by family members and alleged friends. “Do this …”, “don’t do that …”, “in my day it was done like this …”; all phrases that leave the time they find and add nothing to the path.

Obviously, there is no formula for being perfect parents , just as there is no formula for being perfect children or partners, but analyzing the situation better before deciding to start a family can help us to assimilate and sustain the impact of an experience like this. overwhelming. Let’s find out together the 10 things that, in hindsight, mothers would have preferred to know before having children .

1. It can be complicated

You don’t get pregnant with just a snap of your fingers. The path to pregnancy can be more fraught than expected and involve a great deal of energy and resources. For some couples, having a relationship at the right time or trying hard may not be enough.

The advice is to face your personal journey towards pregnancy in complete serenity , without expecting to force dates and always keeping in mind the goal of becoming parents, despite everything that can happen. Let’s prepare for every eventuality, but without letting ourselves be overwhelmed by stress, and, whatever the path, let ‘s experience conception without turning it into an obsession.

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2. We don’t buy whole stores

Before birth and, often, after discovering the sex of the baby, a frenzied race begins to purchase clothes for any conceivable occasion. Mistake! At birth, in fact, we will discover how very few changes are enough for the little ones and making them wear the perfect outfit is really the least of our problems.

The same applies to strollers, car seats, playpens, cots, swings, bibs, educational mats, rocking seats, bottle warmers, pacifiers, etc. Here, if before the birth it may seem that children need all this, once home, we will magically discover that we have purchased a large amount of perfectly useless things , which will end up remaining in the box.

The same goes for toys and various kinds of distractions. Little ones don’t care too much to get distracted or waste time on pseudo-educational games. We are the greatest source of inspiration and attention. If, then, we want to play a little or stimulate them, a little paper ball or little else may be enough .

3. Children have few needs

After birth, the baby does not realize that he is out of his mother’s womb and continues to need those few basic things that allowed him to grow as he turned around in amniotic fluid. There is little to do, the only person who can fully satisfy these needs are the parents .

Let’s get ready to live for months as a function of the newcomer to essentially allow him to sleep, feed and come clean . Stop! Babies do not need anything else and every cry is not a whim , but the only possible manifestation of a need to which only we can give an answer. So let’s not get angry if the little one gets desperate: if he isn’t hungry, most likely he just wants to fall asleep or feel our warmth. However, if the crying should be chronic and inconsolable, we do not hesitate to contact the treating pediatrician in order to check for any health problems at the origin of the phenomenon.

4. The importance of sharing

The first months put a strain on the balance of new mothers . Living according to the little one means dedicating oneself completely to her growth and always being ready to give him attention. It is necessary to have great willpower and tenacity . What is certain is that the period is only a phase and, once it is over, everything could improve. To prepare it in the best possible way, it is important to get help, contact a specialist if necessary and find a way to deal with other mothers, so as to respond to our problems and doubts and feel less alone, also avoiding the risk (always lurking) of postpartum depression .

5. We optimize

We will sleep less and have less time to take care of ourselves. Do we love sleeping late, taking a shower a day and having the freedom to do it whenever we want? Well, with a baby at home, let’s forget about all this and learn to optimize the time he will grant us during frequent, but not very long, naps. We use every single moment to rest and do what makes us feel good.

6. Let’s get help

Precisely with a view to optimizing, we do not disdain the help of partners, relatives and friends. Let them help us around the house, cook for us, do the shopping and prepare the bottle for the baby. Enough with the cliché of the super woman capable of facing everything and everyone armed only with her own strength! Let us not feel at fault or do not think we are weak when we ask for help: it is our right and a great support on a physical, psychological level and to improve the relationship, growth and development of our little one .

7. To each his own

Too often, when a little one arrives, we end up comparing the timing with which they learn to walk or talk. Let’s not wrap our heads if the first steps come later and don’t worry too much if the first word is slow to make itself heard.

The important thing is to accept that each child develops according to their own times . Every day he learns something just by observing us, so let’s not force him to talk, walk, write, read or say mom.

8. Time expands

Becoming a parent also means seeing the time needed to carry out any activity multiply . For a commission that previously we would have completed in five minutes, it could now take twenty. Without forgetting that every activity and choice will often also be modulated on the needs of the little one . This, however, does not mean having less fun or not enjoying a walk. It will just be different , but let’s not be held back by the presence of the baby. Indeed, let’s involve him and make him participate in our time .

9. We change

The birth of a child changes our way of being and understanding life . The values, as well as the perspective, the habits and the relationship with the partner, dance in search of a new balance , modulated by the presence of the child. It is normal and, in most cases, the change is positive , for example in the attention to the choice of food and driving … We will discover new people and we will do it thanks to the incredible willpower that comes from our little ones.

10. Let’s enjoy the uniqueness of the moment

Finally, we live the pregnancy and the birth of the baby according to our nature , in a dualism capable of giving unique emotions and making us grow and evolve. Let us not be influenced by others, but ask the gynecologist or pediatrician for advice if we have any doubts. At the same time, we do not live with the fear of making mistakes , but we remain honest with us, with the partner and with the baby. Nobody is perfect, but raising a child is a unique experience that must be addressed in the best possible way and that we must try to fully enjoy.

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