If you have a new match on Tinder, a new girl has started following you on Instagram, or you would like to contact a girl you have recently met on Whatsapp, then make yourself comfortable as in this article we will see everything you need to know about how you can get started a conversation with a girl without making mistakes that can cost you dearly.
The problem facing the vast majority of men is that they don’t pay enough attention to the first message to send to a girl to start the conversation.
The truth of the matter is that the first message you send to a girl is the most important of all, as it acts as a watershed between success and failure, being the only evaluation method she has if you have never spoken before. , or at least you have spoken very little.
Precisely for this reason that we are going to see what to write to start a conversation so that you can minimize the risk that she sees and does not respond.
Before we do that, however, let’s see what are the three big mistakes you need to avoid before setting out to start any argument with a girl.
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3 Big Mistakes to Avoid to Open a Conversation Successfully
Before starting to write to a girl, it is good to understand first what you absolutely must avoid, since it is not only important to know what to write, but it is equally important to know what not to write to a girl.
During my conversation analysis, I realize that these mistakes are prevalent in the vast majority of men, and most likely, you too are making these mistakes right now.
Mistake # 1: Fear of failure
Whether it’s starting a conversation on Tinder, starting a conversation on Whatsapp with a girl, or writing to a girl on Instagram who has returned the follow, you absolutely need to get rid of the fear of failure.
Fear of failure is the thing that often leads men to make big mistakes.
To give you a practical example, the two mistakes that I most often see as the cause of the fear of failure are writing too much and making the messages exude insecurity.
On the one hand, when you write too much to a girl, she loses interest and ends up, sooner or later, not replying to the messages we send her simply because they are discounted.
On the other hand, showing insecurity by accompanying messages with words like “Disorder?”, Or “Sorry”, turns off the interest in you as women are attracted to self-confident men.
These are the two classic mistakes generated by the fear of failure, which you have to get rid of.
Mistake # 2: Putting it on the pedestal
Another mistake that you absolutely must avoid when it comes to opening a conversation, is to put the girl in question on the pedestal, for example by paying him compliments.
This is a huge mistake as doing so will only create distance between you.
On the contrary, when you approach a girl in chat, you have to show yourself as indifferent as possible, and on the contrary, you will have to do everything possible to put your person on a higher level.
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Mistake # 3: Poor originality
The third big mistake that you absolutely must avoid when you intend to chat with a girl you don’t know, is to be unoriginal, if you don’t want to risk being ignored forever and end up in oblivion.
You see, a girl you don’t know has no reason to respond to you in particular, if you are like everyone else who approaches in chat with messages like “Hello”, “Hey”, “Congratulations, you are beautiful”, or similar.
If you write something that any other man writes to her, you don’t give her that extra reason to answer you.
Among other things, a woman, just seeing yet another chat in the notification preview, doesn’t even deign to see who you are, since she receives dozens and dozens of similar messages every day.
What to write to start a conversation
When you find yourself exchanging your first messages with a girl, especially if it is an unknown girl, or in any case a girl you know relatively recently, your only purpose at this stage is to make her interested in you, and therefore not make you. label as “uninteresting boy” as well as any other boy who writes to her.
You must therefore put yourself in your head that at this stage you should not ask him where he is from, how old he is, or what work he does, this is not your purpose now, also because these messages are not useful to create attraction towards you.
Rather what you have to do at this stage is to show yourself as original as possible, so that she has an interest in sending the conversation as well, and why not, then also to know where you are from, what work you do, and all the other questions of routine.
The key to starting a conversation is originality, and that’s what you need to focus on.
To give you guidelines, your message must reflect at least one of these three parameters:
- Entertain the girl
- Get her excited about a topic
- Make her curious
If your message is not one of these, it is better to sit still and wait for the right conditions to start the conversation rather than risk being displayed and unanswered.
The best phrases to start a conversation with a girl in chat
Let’s see together some phrases you can use to start a conversation with a girl and get her attention.
“So are you really a good cook, let’s hear it, that you would be able to cook?”
A category of opening phrases that I like very much and that I use very often, are those phrases that tease her right away, followed by a question, just like in this case.
This is just one example, and you might be thinking of adapting this phrase pretty much anywhere.
To formulate this sentence, you clearly need to take a cue from known elements, such as an Instagram story, a Tinder bio, or simply from the photographs he has posted in the past.
“We miss basil, too bad, otherwise I could have complimented you on your culinary skills”
This sentence is similar to the previous one, however, it is an even more pronounced sentence, which sends signals to her that we are the kind of man who does not care if she has a negative reaction.
Phrases of this type are extremely useful especially with those types of girls who seem to have very strong, almost dominant characters.
Clearly, we can and must adapt this sentence to any other situation, the important thing is to understand the psychological mechanisms behind a sentence.
“I have to confess something, I only liked your dog in the picture!”
This category of opening phrases that we can use in chat to start a conversation, involves going to point out to third factors the reason why we are interested.
Phrases of this type are also useful to show us disinterested, and in some way not affected by its beauty, as happens with any other man who writes them.
“What a disappointment! You offend me if you appreciate this pizza … “
A message that begins with “What a disappointment” undoubtedly catches a girl’s attention the moment she sees our message in the notification preview.
Precisely for this reason you can think of making opening sentences of this type to immediately capture his attention, and then say something joking to him.
As a good Campano as I am, this is the phrase I often use when I see some girl eating a pizza outside the borders of Campania.
“Let me guess! Are you Roman !? “
Another type of sentence that we can use to start a conversation with a girl is definitely through riddles, just like this one.
Regardless of the age of the person on the other side, everyone likes riddles.
Especially if on the other side we find a person with an expansive character, it is likely that his answer will lead to a series of riddles that open the conversation immediately in a pleasant way.
How to start a conversation with a girl and seduce her: final conclusions
The key to starting a conversation with a girl is that of originality.
If you want to start a conversation about the girl, you have no tools other than this one.
This is why it is essential to dedicate energy above all to the first message, more than any other.
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